So I've gained some weight, however I am on my period and so the weight I gained is probably water weight. I will keep working on this. I need to lose. When I saw the number go up I was so disgusted with myself. I need to lose. I can't stand being in this body anymore. I hate it so much.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Gym
It feels so good to go to the gym. I went for only 45 minutes today but I plan on working out some more when I get back to my room. So far I have only had two pieces of pumpkin bread and some carrots with a dab of hummus. I've had green tea and a chai latte with espresso. I just want to lose weight (118 still this morning). I know I'm tired but that's because I was at the gym. I might have some hot chocolate or something in my room cause I'm really cold. Or I could just have some green tea again which I'd do regardless.
My boyfriend isn't happy. He doesn't like what I'm doing though he doesn't know all of it. But it's really not his decision, it's mine. It's my body and I can do what I want with it. I sometimes wish he didn't love me because then I would be left in peace to continue. I love losing weight. I need to lose more. I want to be skinny. I need to be skinny. I hate my body so much. It doesn't matter what he says. I know he means well but he's wrong. I am not beautiful. I feel like crap. I just want to be able to look in the mirror and not want to throw up with disgust. It's not fair. I see so many other women how are allowed to be skinny, why can't I?!
My boyfriend isn't happy. He doesn't like what I'm doing though he doesn't know all of it. But it's really not his decision, it's mine. It's my body and I can do what I want with it. I sometimes wish he didn't love me because then I would be left in peace to continue. I love losing weight. I need to lose more. I want to be skinny. I need to be skinny. I hate my body so much. It doesn't matter what he says. I know he means well but he's wrong. I am not beautiful. I feel like crap. I just want to be able to look in the mirror and not want to throw up with disgust. It's not fair. I see so many other women how are allowed to be skinny, why can't I?!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Day 1
Weight 118 lbs.
Didn't get much exercise today. Need to get more. I feel so gross but at least I kept my intake under 700 calories. I am determined to lose weight. I will be skinny. I don't care what people say. I see how fat I am. I just want to lose weight. My goal weight for next week is 115 pounds.
Didn't get much exercise today. Need to get more. I feel so gross but at least I kept my intake under 700 calories. I am determined to lose weight. I will be skinny. I don't care what people say. I see how fat I am. I just want to lose weight. My goal weight for next week is 115 pounds.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)